Is God Interested in My Relationships?

It may sound trivial like how is it that “Big God”, creator of the universe, who holds the world in his hands just search me out of billions and be interested in my relationships? Well, we will find out tonight if he is interested in our lives that much.

In Gen 2:18 – “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

God did not create humans to live in isolation. Man is by design a social being. If he had compassion towards Adam’s loneliness, I so much trust that he sees and understands ours. The Lord is compassionate towards singles and it shows as Adam started as one. In God’s dealing with Adam, we see that God knew that even though Adam had animals around him, Adam needed flesh and blood that was like him.

God cares about us so much that he knows the number of hair strands on our heads and none falls off without his knowledge.

Luke 12:7 says, “But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.”

We’ve been brought up to believe that God cares about in quote “serious issues” I want us to know God cares about all things that could lead to sin or glorify him. The preaching of Christ is to permeate through all areas of our life.

I’m Going to speak on two broad areas today 

1. Friendships and 
2. Relationships

Friendships
Your greatest assets in life are people, also, your greatest problems in life will be people issues. The foundation of understanding people, of friendships in the kingdom, must be tied to an understanding that is revealed to us from God’s word. Not what westernization/culture has given us. 

Here are seven principles:

1. The sameness of Materiality: Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” This gives us a good idea of the type of friendships you should be involved in. FRIENDSHIP MUST BE BASED ON THE SAME MATERIAL. It says, Iron sharpeneth iron, not iron sharpeneth wood, sand or stone. I’ll like you to evaluate your friendships against this condition in a minute. Can you boast that you have friends in your life that have a solid ideology? Do you have friends that can pray and fast with and for you within short notice?
2. Reliability: Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” A true friend must be someone you can always rely on, in and out of season. True friendship is not dependent on circumstance. Some of us have people in our lives that we will never call on it times of real trouble, yet we call then our friends. Reflexively, are you a faithful friend. If your friend should call you for help in trouble, will you really be there, or will you have a usual excuse of “I was busy”? John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.” The apex of true friendship is the sacrifice. A true friend must be able to sacrifice for you, no matter how little, and you should do the same to those you consider to be your friends. 
3. Limited in number: Proverbs 18:24 in the Amplified version says, “The man of too many friends [chosen indiscriminately] will be broken in pieces and come to ruin, But there is a [true, loving] friend who [is reliable and] sticks closer than a brother". If your life is not uncommon to drive away a certain person of questionable character from becoming your close friends, it simply means you have no values and principles. You can be likened to a universal charger that any phone can be charged with. Truth is, you won’t last long. If your friends are those that subscribe to a phrase like “if you no get money, hide your face” then your standard will begin to shift. You will begin to feel insecure around them, and you may try to fit in and lose your originality. True climbers do not have many companions, you must be careful to select climbers in your journey of life. 
4. Bring Correction: Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” I am convinced here that the word “wound” there means the discomfort that arises (the bruised ego) from the correction of a friend. A true friend is ready to risk his/her friendship with you to make sure you excel in life and make you end well. See, YOU CANNOT BE GREAT IF YOU DON’T HAVE FRIENDS THAT WILL INSTRUCT YOU INTO ALL TRUTH. For some of you, your cheeks are red with the kisses of friends that agree with all you do both right and wrong. A friend who partners with you to gossip about others will do the same to you.
5. Mutuality of influence: Proverbs 13:20 says, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”  There is such a thing as destruction by association. You don’t necessarily have to be a bad person, simply having a fool for a friend can have a damaging impact on your life. Friendship is a platform for mutual influence. You imbibe the ideologies of people you walk with. These include physical friends, social media friends, etc. You have no business having a fool for a friend, there is no need for sentiments

Now, that we have spoken extensively on friendships, I will proceed to speak on Romantic relationships.

Romantic Relationships
Remember the verse I shared earlier in  Gen 2:18 – “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.”

Romantic relationships were designed by God for companionship, and should never be considered if you are not ready for marriage. The let’s see where it leads to ideology is worldly, devilish and should not be entertained as believers.

I’ll divide this section into three parts:

1. Conditions for entering a relationship
2. Conditions for maintaining a relationship; and
3. Conditions for exiting a relationship

Entering a Relationship
The foundational requirement for entering a relationship with another person is that he/she is genuinely born again. Don’t even try to be the Holy Spirit. Don’t say “I’ll change him/her. Only God can change a man/woman, and even when God is committed to changing people, it takes Him years. Don’t assume. 

Having covered this foundational requirement, I’ll move unto the specifics:
As a lady, you should only consider a relationship with you have judged yourself to meet three conditions. (1) Become a wife, (2) Become a mother, and (3) Become a priest
I’m sure some of you are wondering when I said, become a wife. By this, I mean assuming the properties of a wife. Marriage does not make you a wife, the character does. 

Unfortunately, marriage itself does not impart in our event the character traits that make for a good wife. The Bible says He who finds a “wife”, not a lady finds a good thing. Being a wife means being able to offer support to your husband as a helpmeet. It refers to your ministry to your husband primarily.

Being a mother refers to your ministry to your home – to your husband and children. You must have this trait before thinking of marriage. It revolves around being able to keep the home tidy and being a mother figure.

Being a priest means being spiritual support to your husband/potential husband. You must be alive spiritually.

Many women have one or two, but not all of these. You are to be different. Some women know how to pray and fast, yet they are not mother’s. The house is dirty, the place is stinking and you are just on the mountain. Some others are excellent cooks, but cannot support the man in areas that pertain to purpose and destiny. God wants you to be balanced. Brothers, look out for these three things before you jump into a relationship.

As a brother, you should be a (1) husband, (2) a father and a (3) priest, before you think of a relationship.

Being a husband means being able to meet the emotional needs of your wife. It is your ministry to your wife. And you need to learn how to understand women. Marriage will not automatically impart this upon you.

Being a father means being a source, a provider and a source of protection. You don’t have to be rich, but you should have a source of income before actively thinking of relationships and marriage. It is unfair to your parents to finance your relationship with pocket money. You are still a boy.

Being a priest means being the spiritual head of your home under God.

Maintaining a Relationship
There are five quick points I will raise here:

1. You need to be sacrificial in manner
2. You need to operate on the principles of honor
3. You need to grow together
4. You need to know the friends of the fellow
5. You need to be in agreement

Leaving a relationship
For those of you in relationships who are listening to us, there are seven signs that show that you need a breakup asap.

1. Abuse
2. Dishonour/disrespect
3. Lack of agreement in ideologies/faith and core belief systems
4. Lack of a sacrificial attitude (stinginess)
5. Ungodliness (cheating. Controlling, nasty temper, etc)
6. Unhealthy attachment to parents